cool

Ferris bueller the Fonz, Marty Mcfly, bill & ted, Scott Pligrim, Samuel L Jackson

All have one thing in common. There are cool

Cool enough, that telling them that they are cool, it is uncool.

So cool, that if they were dressed as babies and admitted a love of Bananarama, they will still pull it off and be cool.

My issue is, and an issue that all others face in the world is –

Am I cool?

By saying this I am not cool.

But I think I am, my hair is great. I know all about the greatest movies and I’m in to indie and electro bands - ranging from the mainstream to underground (a terminology that I hate, it makes bands sound like some sort of mutant amphibian group that like pizza)

I would like everyone to know that I am cool, but that means I am not cool, so letting no one know I am cool means that I am either.

A) cool

B) uncool

C) just a being on the planet we called earth – who thinks to much and decides to write blogs about being cool (thus I am uncool) (Im uncool by the fact I keep on starting that I am either cool or uncool)

No wonder no one has written a scientific report on being cool.

Imagine if Einstein spent his life thinking of making himself cool. We would then not have the equation E=MC² everyone knows it, but many do not understand it (I do!!)

So what can I do with my predicament………….

Well when we think of cool people we know that

A) they know stuff and the people that are important

B) they can dress the height of fashion

C) they are also where the party is

D) ‘girls want to be with them, guys want to be them’

Therefore if I want to be cool I must, watch documentaries and read Wikipedia, plus network with those that are important (in every kind of field!) I must read the fashion tips in men’s magazines, go to parties and most importantly believe that I am the Fonz/ Ferris Bueller thus I can emulate them and get girls!

Actually that sounds like too much work, has no one realised being uncool is just pure laziness.

The kind of laziness I love.

FUCK IT - I LOVE BEING UNCOOL

drugs

drugs are bad, o.k!!!

Let’s be clear here there are two types of drugs the legal kind and the illegal kind. I like many, have a fondness for both.

Tea/coffee
Imports form Asia, that have taken the word by storm; since the (a long time ago) century.
if it was discovered today, that taking leaves/beans putting them in boiling water to create a drink that would induce a sense of calm or give the ability to make people stay awake that little bit longer, then they would have been made illegal.

Alcohol
Everyone loves alcohol. Alcoholics especially; they are the lucky ones who are able to admit to themselves and others at anonymous meetings that they drink alcohol –whilst also stating their name (what the fuck!!!)
Back in times of yore, alcohol was drunk because it was safer then drinking the water, nowadays it is drunk because it is better then being at home sober watching ITV2.
(Some do drink alone, whilst watching ITV2, these people need help – if you know anybody like this please get them to a pub)

Chocolate
‘Girls love it, many guys love girls therefore they eat chocolate to get close to girls.’ (This statement is not scientific because I‘m sure gay guys also eat chocolate too!)
The point is, chocolate is full of serotonin making us feel happy and become fatter.
They say fat people are jolly, well it’s because of the amount of chocolate they eat.
My next statement is also not scientifically based – but is kinda valid
‘People would be more happy if they diet consisted of chocolate and they became jolly fat’

Cannabis
The one illegal drug, that everyone wants legal.
I have been to Amsterdam, and I have seen its effect. The whole city is so laid back. No one is scared and you get the sense that if a foreign county was going to invade they will just say ‘whatever’
The adverts they have on TV about smoking too much weed, could give a sense of ‘oh dear better stay away from that stuff’ but think about it Simon ended up having a flat full of the strangest characters to have all in one room. Hilarity must ensue!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-_g5Cdc0BY

Methadone
Oh dear, bad press for a legal drug, that has its chemical compound slightly changed so that it is neither ecstasy nor cocaine. So some have died, some have died doing rock climbing but you don’t see that coming under new law changes!!
Families of those that have died in rock climbing accidents will just think ‘he knew what he was doing was dangerous’

Ecstasy
Thumbing bass, check. Changing your mind every minute or so, check. Unable to sleep for ages, check.
What’s not to like – it’s perfect if you don’t want to leave a party, but want to partake in diverse activities, like stroking a jacket button for ten minutes whilst talking to twenty different people.

MDMA
Everything just feels so weird and nice, your eyes move a lot –freaky cool

Mushrooms
There was a cave under my bed covers and Ron Weasley in my left leg. Tell me you don’t want to experience something like that

LSD
This youtube video explains the hilarity of this drug

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCFg-ydAiZA

Cocaine
A rollercoaster drug. One minute you’re full of life and happy, then it wears off and you look like your coming back from a funeral. Who needs rides like oblivion when you have a drug like this….

Heroin
The granddaddy of them all, pretty much combines all of the drugs above into one vile, long lasting mess
What point am I making here though..

Well drugs can be bad, yes –if you get addicted, if you die from them, if I could be bothered to put all the bad effects off them into this blog.
IF
IF
This if, is why drugs are so popular
This if, is why people want them illegal
This if, is why you can read this blog again and understand why people do the drug, or don’t partake in drugs.

The IF about drugs is the most powerful If in the cosmos.
Some are scared by it, but if were honest here most live by it.